A Grownup, On Sesame Street
Let me start with this: I still love it. I’m a little bewildered by the monsters they’ve introduced in the past two decades (who is the blue monster with long, ratty yellow hair? I need a wiki that is photo-based rather than name-based), but I totally get why this was my mom’s favorite kid’s show. And I’m enjoying the chance to see Baguette discover new characters she recognizes and loves–Elmo’s her favorite, but not the only one she’ll watch now.
However, there’s one set of characters on whom I’ve done a 180:
That’s right, Bert and Ernie.
When I was little, Ernie was happy and fun, and Bert was grouchy and glum. As an adult, I have a much better understanding of Bert. It’s clear that he’s grouchy and glum because Ernie, while upbeat, is also batshit crazy. Bert wants to sleep? Ernie’s playing a trumpet. Bert wants to read? Ernie’s clucking like a chicken and hanging from the ceiling like a monkey.
So as Mr. Sandwich and I sit with Baguette and watch Sesame Street, we can’t help but come up with reasons why we’d rather be roommates with Bert than with Ernie. Sure, Bert’s square. But consider what that means in a real-world roommate:
- Bert takes out the trash.
- Bert cleans the lint out of the dryer.
- Bert knows how to use a plunger.
- Bert doesn’t leave dishes sitting around for days.
- Bert makes sure you get your mail and your phone messages.
- Bert pays his half of the rent on time.
Ernie? Ernie lets lions into the house.