Tragic Sandwich

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Romantic Comedies We’d Be Better Off Without

hearts

I know people are going to be offended. Who’s not offended when someone says, “That thing you love? I hate it with a passion.” But this morning’s post on A Cup of Jo got me thinking. While there definitely romantic comedies I love, there are far more that I hate.

Some I’m ambivalent about. “Sleepless in Seattle” is a little too stalker-y for me to completely embrace it. “You’ve Got Mail” features Meg Ryan doing her best Meg Ryan impersonation. (But she’s wonderful in “When Harry Met Sally,” so it’s not that I hate Meg Ryan herself.)

Far too many, though, just make me twitch and cringe. And it’s not that they’re formulaic (that’s a whole separate topic). It’s that I hate them. So here are five romantic comedies I hate:

1) Breakfast at Tiffany’s
This movie is not funny. It’s not romantic. It’s a bizarre adaptation of the book (which I’m also not fond of, but can appreciate). Holly is in need of serious psychiatric help. And the name of the store is Tiffany, not Tiffany’s (although I guess I have to blame that one on Truman Capote).

2) What Women Want
This is the movie that made me hate romantic comedies. Mel Gibson steals Helen Hunt’s ideas and gets her fired, and because he repents, all is well. No, all is not well. I saw this movie in the theater, and it made me cry tears of rage. Women do not want this. Not at all.

3) Green Card
I should identify with the main character, not want to smack her in the face for being annoying. I have a soft spot for Andie MacDowell, but I think she has an extremely limited range. This is far outside it.

4) Notting Hill
“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.” As crappy writing goes, this is right up there with “You had me at hello.”

5) 27 Dresses
I get it. Her heart’s broken. And she’s right that her sister is a manipulative liar. But what she does is awful, and makes her look worse to everyone around her. Also, she could use some therapy about those dresses.

Bonus: Anything starring Jennifer Lopez in some bizarrely low-income job that is completely implausible due to the public image that is J.Lo. Seriously, am I supposed to believe that she’d be a maid? Or a dog walker?

Additional bonus: Nearly anything starring Kate Hudson, although I will make an exception for Fools’ Gold, a bad movie that is a lot more fun than it has any business being.

So I’m sure that I’ve just slammed someone’s–several someones–favorite movies. My apologies. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But I would like to see Hollywood put out better movies.

Added: He’s Just Not That Into You
“Oh, but he is!” the movie ultimately tells us. Whereas if there’s one thing I’ve learned from my actual life, it’s that if he isn’t, he just isn’t. You can’t prove to someone that they ought to be with you. Either they want to on their own, or they don’t. I hope Baguette never finds out that this movie exists.

Photo by IYLIAAA, via Flickr.

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4 thoughts on “Romantic Comedies We’d Be Better Off Without

  1. I found “Breakfast” to be bizarre. I read the short-story and could never figure out why it was ever made into a movie. I fell asleep on 27 dresses, so I am now intrigued at what the main character did. But not enough to bother renting it again!

    • I’d spoiler-tag this, but it seems unnecessary considering the age of the movie. Basically she agreed to be her sister’s maid of honor and planned everything, as apparently was her wont, and then made a video demonstrating that her sister was a lying hypocrite. But then everyone apologized and got back together, so it was okay.

      Falling asleep was probably your best move–did you manage it before the “Benny and the Jets” rendition? Because that was just painful!

  2. christina on said:

    Couldnt agree more. My favorite romantic movie? The Philadelphia Story (with Hepburn) Nice blog. I will be back.

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